These Two Hearts
by KaramelKat
Summary: "I shall but love thee better after death". How Sam really feels about what happened the day Leah disappeared from his life forever.


_**A/N:**__ This was originally my entry for the JBNP "How Do I Love Thee?" Drabble-Style One-shot Contest. It won 3__rd__ place in member votes as favorite story._

_Disclaimer: Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

_Warnings: If you have not seen the movie Breaking Dawn Part 2 and/or have not read the spoilers online, do not proceed past this point. This story takes place post AU BD Part 2 Alice's "vision"._

He never wanted to come back here.

She had requested it. He had been unable to deny her. He couldn't deny her anything she wanted, his wolf wouldn't let him. They both would move heaven and earth to give his imprint what she wanted; and what she wanted, was to see where it happened.

It had been more than a year since the battle that had claimed the lives of so many. It had started with Carlisle Cullen's head being ripped from his neck and it hadn't ended until the last of the Volturi soldiers had been killed or fled in fear. There had been tragic losses on their side of the battle. They had won in the end, but not without many sacrifices.

The clearing where it had taken place was forever altered. A deep chasm rendered the middle of the meadow where it had been opened by that vampire – the one who could control the elements. The open rift, though no longer oozing steam and lava like a festering wound, left behind an abhorrent, unnatural scar in an otherwise peaceful terrain.

He could see his imprint was too close to the edge of the gorge. She was leaning over, looking down into the black pit, unaware of the dirt shifting around her feet. Within a few quick strides he was at her side, drawing her back a few steps. "Be careful. The ground is not stable there," he was quick to tell her.

Her dark eyes, so much like another he loved, met his. Tears were gathering in their depths. "Do you think it was quick? It would have been quick- right?" The hesitation in her question, asked in a whispered breath, caused his own throat to close and tighten as tears threatened to choke him.

Sam couldn't force himself to reply vocally so he nodded for Emily's benefit. She had wanted to see where her cousins had been killed, which is why they were here. He had prayed so many times to all the ancestors of their people that Leah's pain had ended quickly, but he couldn't kid himself. She had fallen into the fiery depths of molten lava, burned alive. Her brother's death had been quicker, his spine snapped in half by a vampire's hands.

His own hands were trembling with the memory, his wolf howling with despair over the loss of two of his own. Sam pushed himself away from Emily, not wanting to repeat the worst memory of his life.

Correction – it was now the second worst.

The day he scarred Emily permanently had been the most terrifying in his twenty-one years of being. But she had survived, forgiven him and their imprint had grown stronger. That day last year, the day she disappeared out of his life forever, was the worst memory for him.

Leah was dead. Sam was never going to see her again. He would never hear the husky, carefree tone of her voice when she laughed. He would never again see the purse of her lips when she was engulfed in concentration on school work. Her hand would inevitably reach up to tug a strand of hair loose from the rest and she would twine it into curls. It was the little things that he would miss.

He would even miss the way she would give him a dismissive, haughty toss of her head after their breakup. He would miss the pain that accompanied the wounded look in her eyes whenever she watched him and Emily together after learning of the imprint. He would also miss hearing her thoughts. Ruthless though they were - they were Leah's very much _alive_ thoughts. He would never hear them again.

He missed her.

He had thought time would lessen the hurt of her death. He thought his imprint would lessen the pain of her loss. It only seemed to make it more painful. There were times when Emily would make a face or gesture that he had seen Leah do a million times before. They had been sisters almost; it was only natural they would share familiar body language.

The knowledge failed to make it hurt less.

His hands were no longer shaking. He glanced at Emily and her face was a mask of concern for him. She didn't approach him until he gave a quick nod. It was their unspoken signals to keep another tragedy from happening again. She quickly went into his arms, which he opened wide, pulling her into his embrace.

She smelled like comfort and home, something his wolf appreciated very much. Sam laid his chin on her head, breathing in her scent, trying and failing to comfort his human self with her presence. It felt wrong. It was like he was betraying Leah all over again.

Why did it feel like his heart was torn in two, loving the woman he held, and loving a woman who he would never hold again? His wolf, his head and his heart had always been at war with each other over this.

His wolf had chosen Emily. He was reminded of it every time their eyes met; the joyful surge to make her happy and complete filling his entire being. The strings of destiny had given her to him and he was hers. It was wonderful. Their love was beautiful. Everything his wolf wanted.

And yet…

Somewhere deep down below the wolf's wants, Sam knew what he wanted. He knew who he loved - who he had chosen to love. And if given a choice, he would always choose to love her.

It was Leah. It had always been Leah Clearwater.

And even though she was gone, he would always love her, even after death had claimed her.


End file.
